If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
