Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
