Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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