I can text with my tongue
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
