somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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