Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
