this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
