nut hugger
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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