one two three fourrrrnication!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
