the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
