That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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