break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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