at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
