He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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