Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Text me some of your sweat
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
