Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
