i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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