I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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