that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
