She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
