I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
