my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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