That's intense
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
