That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
