And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
NoShamevember. You game?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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