Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
