The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
