Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Everyone says I win the strip club
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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