Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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