well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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