Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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