worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
