i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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