i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
