The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
