we're blogging at a bar
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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