well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
