The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
