I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize