i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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