if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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