Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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