I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
