The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
