it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
