put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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