apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
