Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
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He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
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Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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