i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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