i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
