Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
