I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
