were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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