look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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