It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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