a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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