Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
