so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
