dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
